Excerpt - Who Cares

INTRODUCTION

CAREGIVERS need guidelines on how to comfort a loved one. When individuals become our caregivers, they should have our guidelines available to them. We all worry about wills, funerals, and leaving finances in order — for after we die. This book is focused on lessening pain and stress when we are older, sometimes helpless, but still alive! Therefore, this book has two audiences or sets of possible readers:

The first set constitutes those of us who recognize that we are, in fact, getting older — and that it is possible that we will one day be older, forgetful, infirm, unable to communicate feelings and desires, and/or ineffective in seeing to it that we get what we need.

The second set is made up of people who will care for us. If we are lucky, we can predict who those people will be and we can pass this book on to them. If we are lucky, they will be the people who love us — our children, other family members, or very close friends.

This book is designed to be filled out by the individual for whom future care is intended and then handed over to your future caregivers.

This book is a person’s chance to direct not only the care they will receive, but the "who’s, what’s, when’s where’s and how’s" of his or her daily life.

Maybe it is not comfortable for you to discuss this with your caregivers. Maybe it is not comfortable for them either. Maybe you cannot even tell them you have prepared this book for their use. You can, however, leave it with important papers, on your desk, where you stash your unpaid bills, or under your address book. In other words, you can leave it where they are bound to find it when suddenly there is a need to take care of you and handle your affairs. Either way, they will have it and be able to be guided by your wishes.

If you are one of the lucky individuals who can discuss your wishes with your future caregivers, this book can help open all kinds of doors.

If possible give it to your future caregiver now. Ask them to become familiar with it. Invite them to ask you questions. Invite them to make notes in it.

Remember: this is a living document in more ways than one.

The guide is divided into eleven parts. I have made every effort to anticipate all the categories that affect our lives — not merely the big decisions, but all the little things that enhance the quality of each day.

Because this is a tool that I too will be using and filling out for my own children, there are places throughout the book where I have jumped right in and provided you, the reader, with sample answers. These are my answers for my children. It is there to give you an idea of the scope or detail you may wish to provide in your own responses to your future caregivers. Your responses will certainly be your own.

At the end of the eleven parts, I have added an extra chapter. To supplement the specific guidlines you provide your caregivers, I offer some general guidance that can help all of our future caregivers.

Following this final chapter, there is a section called "Notes." This contains a section of the blank pages that I promised earlier. I am sure you will think of categories that I’ve not included, and apply to you and your own special needs and requests. You might simply need additional space to complete comments from an earlier chapter.

Make these pages your very own. And finally, I ask that you consider writing to me and sharing your own thoughts on how the guide can be enhanced. If you have topics that you feel are important and were left out of this edition, I’d appreciate you sharing your ideas with me. I would like to improve upon this original concept and make the guide valuable to future generations.

— Dee Marrella

PART I I

Priorities for Care

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others

cannot keep it from themselves.

James M. Barrie

Address each section below as completely as possible

Note: Update this section whenever there is a change in medication, attending physicians, etc.

Physical problems I have and medications I take for them (include all prescription and across-the counter drugs):

_________________________________________________

Allergies I have and medications I take for them (include all prescription and across-the-counter drugs):

_________________________________________________

My family history of reproductive problems (miscarriages, stillbirths, infertility, birth defects):

_________________________________________________

My family history of diseases (diabetes, cardiac, mental challenges, etc.):

_________________________________________________

My Favorite Product Brands

Toothpaste: _______________________________________

Mouthwash: _______________________________________

Laxative: _________________________________________

Headache Remedy: _________________________________

Vitamins:

General Multivitamin: _________________________________

Vitamin C:_________________________________________

Other:____________________________________________

Deodorant: ________________________________________

Perfume/Cologne/Aftershave Lotion: _____________________

Lipstick Color: ______________________________________

Makeup:

1.________________________________________________

2.________________________________________________

3.________________________________________________

Hair Coloring Kit: ____________________________________

Hairspray: _________________________________________

Nail Polish: ________________________________________

Moisturizer: ________________________________________

Razor: ____________________________________________

Shaving Creme: _____________________________________

Facial Hair Remover: _________________________________

Soap: _____________________________________________

Other Items: ________________________________________

__________________________________________________

If I Had a terminal Illness

__________ I would want to know.

__________ I would not want to know.

Comments on above:

__________________________________________________

Would I want you to request any hospital or doctor to keep me alive through extreme means if I were suffering?

__________ Yes __________ No

Comments on use of life support:

__________________________________________________

What is a "Living Will?"

A "LIVING WILL" IS A DOCUMENT (also known as an advanced directive) that states in advance of a serious illness or accident what medical treatments you want or don’t want to receive. It can also be a document in which the signer requests to be allowed to die rather than be kept alive by artificial means if disabled beyond a reasonable expectation of recovery. When signed by a competent person, it can provide guidance for medical and health-care decisions (as the termination of life support or organ donation) in the event the person becomes incompetent to make such decisions.

A simple statement could be created and signed in front of witnesses. It is recommended that two witnesses also sign the document. Those witnesses should not be direct members of your family or someone who would benefit financially in the event of your death.

NOTE: It is very important to understand that if you fail to make a living will accessible to others, it is actually or no value and become completely worthless. Copies of your living will should be (1) kept with this guide and (2) given to any member of your immediate family that you feel should have one, (3) to your primary care physician and any specialists you work with, (4) your attorney, (5) and the hospital to which you feel you would most likely be taken in case of an emergency. If you are admitted to a nursing home, make sure the administration has a copy. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to carry a copy in your purse or wallet.

Always discuss any matters of a legal nature with an attorney of your choice.

"Do I want my doctors to keep me alive through artificial means if I become seriously ill or injured?"

__________ Yes __________ No

Specifically, I want the following to be done:

If my heart stops, I do _______ do not _______ want CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation).

I do _______ do not _______ want to be placed on any mechanical breathing apparatus.

I do _______ do not _______ wish to have any blood transfusions.

I do _______ do not _______ want any intravenous food administered.

I do _______ do not _______ want any liquids administered intravenously.

If I am transported to a healthcare facility and placed on life support, I do _______ do not _______ want it stopped at the directive of my representative(s).

Comments on this subject:

_________________________________________________

I Would Like to Be an Organ Donor.

__________ Yes __________ No

Comments on Organ Donation:

_________________________________________________

Any Special Requests Regarding Organ Donation:

_________________________________________________

My preferred Healthcare providers

Physician:

Name___________________________________

Phone ___________________________________________

Address __________________________________________

_________________________________________________

Dentist: Name______________________________________

Phone ____________________________________________

Address __________________________________________

_________________________________________________

Podiatrist: Name___________________________________

Phone ___________________________________________

Address __________________________________________

_________________________________________________

Optometrist: Name__________________________________

Phone ____________________________________________

Address __________________________________________

_________________________________________________

Optician: Name____________________________________

Phone ___________________________________________

Address __________________________________________

_________________________________________________

Pharmacy: Name___________________________________

Phone ____________________________________________

Address ___________________________________________

__________________________________________________

Hospital: Name______________________________________

Phone ____________________________________________

Address ___________________________________________

__________________________________________________

Other: Name________________________________________

Phone _____________________________________________

Address ____________________________________________

___________________________________________________

Doctors, Hospitals, Other Professionals That I Never Want to Go

Back to:

Name_____________________________________________

Phone ___________________________________________

Address __________________________________________

_________________________________________________

Name_____________________________________________

Phone ____________________________________________

Address ___________________________________________

__________________________________________________

Name_____________________________________________

Phone ____________________________________________

Address ___________________________________________

__________________________________________________

My Thoughts on a Nursing Home or Alternative Living Facility and My

Personal Care Priorities: _______________________________

__________________________________________________

PART V I I I

Financial and

Business Affairs

My Business Affairs

Locating and understanding where important papers can be found (provide location, contact person if needed, contact phone numbers):

Will:

Name______________________________________________

Phone _____________________________________________

Address ____________________________________________

___________________________________________________

Checking Account(s):

Name_______________________________________________

Phone ______________________________________________

Address _____________________________________________

____________________________________________________

Account Number(s) _____________________________________

Savings Account(s):

Name________________________________________________

Phone _______________________________________________

Address ______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Account Number(s) ______________________________________

Stock Certificates:

Name_________________________________________________

Phone ________________________________________________

Address _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Owner’s Name __________________________________________

Name_________________________________________________

Phone ________________________________________________

Address _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Owner’s Name __________________________________________

Name_________________________________________________

Phone ________________________________________________

Address _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Owner’s Name __________________________________________

Name_________________________________________________

Phone ________________________________________________

Address _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Owner’s Name __________________________________________

Name_________________________________________________

Phone ________________________________________________

Address _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Owner’s Name __________________________________________

Bonds:

Name_________________________________________________

Phone ________________________________________________

Address _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Owner’s Name __________________________________________

Insurance Policies:

Name_________________________________________________

Phone ________________________________________________

Address ______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Policy Number _________________________________________

Name________________________________________________

Phone _______________________________________________

Address ______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Policy Number _________________________________________

Name________________________________________________

Phone _______________________________________________

Address ______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Policy Number _________________________________________

Name________________________________________________

Phone _______________________________________________

Address ______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Policy Number _________________________________________

Special Collections

(i.e., stamps, coins, other collectables):

Item Name: ___________________________________________

Name________________________________________________

Phone _______________________________________________

Address ______________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Distribution of Assets

NOTE: your will is the single best tool for delineating what items of value are to be distributed to which individual(s). The list below can serve as a backup tool. List here "Item" and name(s) of recipients.

Be as specific as you can.

How I would like my children to divide my furnishings, jewelry, etc.:

_____________________________________________________

Important Names and Phone Numbers

Important Names and Phone Numbers (this list includes individuals you deal with both personally and for business):

Bank

Name_________________________________________________

Phone ________________________________________________

Address _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

List all account numbers ___________________________________

______________________________________________________

Financial Planner

Name__________________________________________________

Phone _________________________________________________

Address _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Lawyer

Name__________________________________________________

Phone _________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Accountant

Name__________________________________________________

Phone _________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Broker

Name__________________________________________________

Phone _________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Money Market Fund

Name__________________________________________________

Phone _________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Account Number(s) ________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Funeral Home

Name__________________________________________________

Phone _________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Safety Deposit Box/Keys

Name__________________________________________________

Phone _________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Box Number _____________________________________________

Comments:

_______________________________________________________

Where to locate important papers:

CREDIT CARDS:

Visa:

Account # ___________________________________

MasterCard:

Account # ___________________________________

Discover:

Account # ___________________________________

American Express:

Account # ___________________________________

Other Credit Cards:

Account # ___________________________________

Location/Comments:__________________________

____________________________________________

Bank Account Books:

Location/Comments:__________________________

____________________________________________

Rental Property Payment Books:

Location/Comments:__________________________

____________________________________________

Other Financial Records:

Location/Comments:__________________________

____________________________________________

IMPORTANT KEYS:

Keys to House/Apartment:

Location/Comments: _______________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Keys to Car(s):

Location/Comments: _______________________________________

_______________________________________________________

Other Important Keys:

Location/Comments: _______________________________________

_______________________________________________________

WILL:

Two people with copies of my will:

Name___________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

Phone # ________________________________________________

Name__________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

Phone # ________________________________________________

POWERS OF ATTORNEY

Two people with Powers of Attorney:

Name__________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

Phone # ________________________________________________

Name__________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

Phone # ________________________________________________

BIRTH CERTIFICATE:

Two people with copies of my birth certificate:

Name__________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

Phone # ________________________________________________

Name__________________________________________________

Address ________________________________________________

Phone # ________________________________________________

MY SOCIAL SECURITY #: _________________________________

INSURANCE POLICIES:

Name of Insurance Company ________________________________

Insurance Company Phone #________________________________

Policy #________________________________________________

Address of Company _____________________________________

______________________________________________________

Location of Policy ________________________________________

Name of Insurance Company _______________________________

Insurance Company Phone #________________________________

Policy #________________________________________________

Address of Company _____________________________________

______________________________________________________

Location of Policy ________________________________________

Name of Insurance Company _______________________________

Insurance Company Phone #________________________________

Policy #________________________________________________

Address of Company _____________________________________

______________________________________________________

Location of Policy ________________________________________

Cash or Long Term Care Policy that I have to cover nursing home costs:

Name of Policy __________________________________________

Policy #________________________________________________

Address of Carrier _______________________________________

Location of Policy ________________________________________

Name of Policy __________________________________________

Policy #________________________________________________

Address of Carrier ________________________________________

Location of Policy ________________________________________

Name of Policy __________________________________________

Policy #________________________________________________

Address of Carrier ________________________________________

Location of Policy ________________________________________

List of Personal Assets:

Name of Item ___________________________________________

Location of Item _________________________________________

Appraisal ______________________________________________

Location of Appraisal _____________________________________

Name of Item ___________________________________________

Location of Item _________________________________________

Appraisal ______________________________________________

Location of Appraisal _____________________________________

Name of Item ___________________________________________

Location of Item _________________________________________

Appraisal ______________________________________________

Location of Appraisal _____________________________________

Name of Item ___________________________________________

Location of Item _________________________________________

Appraisal ______________________________________________

Location of Appraisal _____________________________________

Pensions and Retirement Accounts:

Title of Pension Plan/Retirement Account:

______________________________________________________

Account Number: ________________________________________

Location: ______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Title of Pension Plan/Retirement Account: ______________________

Account Number: _________________________________________

Location: _______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Title of Pension Plan/Retirement Account:

______________________________________________________

Account Number: ________________________________________

Location: ______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Home:

Address: _______________________________________________

Purchase Price: __________________________________________

Current Value: ___________________________________________

Date of last appraisal: _____________________________________

Location of Deed(s): ______________________________________

Automobile(s):

Make/Model: ____________________________________________

Year: __________________________________________________

Location of Title: _________________________________________

Make/Model: ____________________________________________

Year: __________________________________________________

Location of Title: _________________________________________

Make/Model: ____________________________________________

Year: __________________________________________________

Location of Title: _________________________________________

Other Assets:

Furs

Comments: _____________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Jewelry

Comments: _____________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Antiques

Comments: _____________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Stamps:

Comments: _____________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Coins:

Comments: _____________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Other:

Comments: _____________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Any Debts Owed:

Type: _________________________________________________

Name to be paid: ________________________________________

Address: ______________________________________________

Phone # _______________________________________________

Type: _________________________________________________

Name to be paid: ________________________________________

Address: ______________________________________________

Phone # _______________________________________________

Type: _________________________________________________

Name to be paid: ________________________________________

Address: ______________________________________________

Phone # _______________________________________________

Type: _________________________________________________

Name to be paid: ________________________________________

Address: _______________________________________________

Phone # _______________________________________________


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