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1
A FORMULA FOR
LIVING SUCCESS…
FROM THE
INSIDE OUT
IF THERE WERE A FORMULA
FOR LIVING SUCCESS…from the inside
out, it would look like this:
Being + Doing + Having =
Success…from the INSIDE OUT
Many people have this
backwards. Their formula for success looks like
this:
Having + Doing + Being =
Success…from the OUTSIDE IN
One of my clients was
faithfully following this OUTSIDE IN formula when
he first came to me. His goal was to make lots of money by
the time he was 40 so he could then quit his job, finally do the
work he loved, and live the life
he really wanted. He was working long hours to
pursue this goal, had a BMW and the latest toys,
and yet rarely had time to spend with his
wife, friends, and family. He couldn’t understand
why his life lacked meaning.
Many people have their
priorities upside down. They get
bogged down in the HAVING stage.
They can’t get past it to the BEING
stage because they feel like they just don’t
have enough yet. They think that what defines
their success is how much money they
have, the people they know, and the things they possess.
My client is now in the
process of turning his priorities around by following
the INSIDE OUT formula to success. He’s finding that to have
a fulfilling, joyful, and successful life, it’s essential to
first:
1. BE
Be yourself. Know who
you really are. Know what’s most important to you.
Know what makes you unique. Know what you do best. This introspection
and clarity will take you into the second stage.
2. DO
Do those things you do
best. Use your gifts and talents in a way that helps
others. Touch people in meaningful ways. Leave a lasting legacy.
This takes you to the third stage.
3. HAVE
Have a life, not just a
lifestyle. A life oriented around what’s most important
to you. A life spent with those who matter most to you. A life
with financial rewards for doing what you love to do.
Success
happens…
from the
inside out.
Which formula do you
subscribe to? If it’s the OUTSIDE IN formula, then
it’s time to turn that around. Re-designing your life around
the INSIDE OUT formula is an evolving process. Start by saying
no to HAVING as your primary goal and
commit to turning your priorities
around. Decide today to say yes to BEING first, and the DOING
and HAVING will naturally follow. Now you are on your way to
living success…from the inside out.
7
TWO TIPS FOR
CREATING MORE
TIME VS.
MANAGING TIME
MORE AND MORE, I HEAR MY
CLIENTS TELLING ME how
overwhelmed they are. They have lots of projects, tasks,
and activities, and there’s just not enough time in the
day to get it all done. They rush to this meeting here and are late
to that activity there. And, they don’t
know what to do about it other than
the traditional time management techniques. Well, you know what?
It’s time to be more innovative.
If you want to live
success…from the inside out, choose to shift your
focus from MANAGING time
to CREATING time.
Here are two simple tips
to create more time:
1. Be 10 Minutes Early
to Everything
When you are 10 minutes
early to everything, it allows you to collect your
thoughts, relax, and take in your environment. You may think,
"Oh, I still have 10 minutes. I
think I’ll make one more phone
call." What happens? That phone
call runs longer than you planned, and then
you’re late to your meeting. You arrive stressed
and irritated with yourself. Those 10 minutes
are a reserve of time you build in for yourself
so you can respond to the unexpected, like
traffic. Those 10 minutes are NOT extra,
but time you’ve created for yourself. When
you understand this, you’ll notice a dramatic
effect on your stress and happiness levels.
2. Say No Before Saying
Yes
This is difficult for
many people. Let’s say someone
presents an exciting project for you to
do, and you want to say yes. Yet, you already
have a lot on your platter. Most people would
say yes anyway. Inevitably, two weeks
down the road, they find themselves overwhelmed
and stressed out. All because they
didn’t say no to something else first, which
would have created the space and time for
the new project.
If you want to say yes
to something new, it’s vital to
take a look at everything on your platter and first say no to
something there. Either delegate it,
postpone it, or toss it. Whatever you
decide, you’ve just created more time and space to say yes to the
new project. You’ll then be able to
handle it with much greater ease and
joy.
Success…from the
inside out starts with choosing how you use your
time in ways that support you rather than stress you. It’s about
shifting your focus to creating time
rather than managing time. And by
practicing these two simple tips, you will create more time for
yourself. Go ahead, try it. You may be
surprised at the results.
18
TRUST YOURSELF
Your Inner Compass
Have you ever said to
yourself:
"If only I had
trusted my instincts."
"My intuition was
telling me not to, but I went ahead anyway."
"I had an uneasy
feeling, but I didn’t pay enough attention to it."
TRUSTING YOURSELF IS A
VITAL COMPONENT to living and
achieving success…from the inside out. You have within you
an inner compass—your internal guidance system—also known
as your instincts, intuition, or gut feelings. It’s the greatest
tool you have, and it doesn’t
cost you anything. It’s free and is always accessible because
you carry it within you at all times.
You have all the answers
inside you. However, you may often ignore
the guidance you’re given and go against what you instinctively
know is right for you. Perhaps you’re
nodding your head right now, and
that’s okay. Because the best way to learn how to consistently
trust yourself is through what
you learn when you don’t trust yourself and through
your successes when you do. Let the following exercise help you
to develop the skill of trusting yourself:
TRUST YOURSELF, AN
EXERCISE
1. Think of a time when
you didn’t trust your
instincts, your intuition, or your gut feelings.
Describe this in detail. Why didn’t you
trust yourself? What were the results of not
trusting yourself? How did it feel? What did
you learn? If you could replay this situation, what
would you do differently and why?
What might the results be?
Ask these questions
whenever you find that you haven’t
trusted yourself. It’s an excellent way
to learn and improve this skill of trusting.
2. Now think of a time
when you did trust yourself. How
did your instincts, intuition, or
gut feelings—your inner compass—show up
for you? What did it feel like? Was there an
"inner knowing?" Did it feel "just right?"
Was it a body sensation
or an emotion? A nagging thought? A solid
feeling in your body? Anything else? Describe this in detail.
What were the results of trusting yourself?
Use this incident as a
point of reference for what it feels like to trust
yourself. Let it act as your barometer in the future when you’re
wondering whether or not it’s your
inner compass that’s guiding you or
something else.
Trust the information
your instincts, intuition, or gut feelings are giving
you. They may fly in the face of conventional wisdom or what other
people think is right, but YOU know what’s right for you. The
key is to trust your knowing and follow
it.
Your inner compass—your
internal guidance system—is always giving
you directions on how to proceed. The more you trust yourself,
the easier your life will flow. You’ll
stay on course for what’s right for you,
and you’ll experience more joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment.
Remember: trust yourself
and follow your inner compass. That’s living success…from
the inside out.
28
AN INSIDER’ S
VIEW TO
"WHAT YOU FOCUS
ON GETS BIGGER"
HAVE YOU
NOTICED HOW MUCH EASIER IT IS to give words
of wisdom and advice to other people rather than follow them
for yourself? Well, that’s what happened to me recently.
Talk about a lesson learned.
I wanted to write an article about "what you
focus on gets bigger." You’ve
heard similar phrases like, "It’s a self-fulfilling
prophecy," "As it is
within, so it is without," "What you think about, comes
about," and "Where
you put your attention, happens."
All I could think about was how I couldn’t come up
with the article for my
upcoming newsletter. I couldn’t think of how to write what I
wanted to say. Inspiration was definitely not coming through. This
was growing into a much harder
topic than I thought it would be. I kept
putting it off, finding everything else under the sun to do rather
than writing. I ended up
thinking that I better throw out this topic fast
and come up with another
one or else there wouldn’t
be any article this particular week.
And then in a flash, it hit me. What I was focusing
on was getting bigger. I was creating exactly
what I was thinking about. I was thinking
about struggle and no article. Here I wanted
to give you examples from some of my
clients, and the best example that I could give
you was my very own. The irony of it all made
me laugh. The joke definitely was on me.
With that flash of insight, my perspective changed.
What took me almost a week to do, suddenly
came together very quickly. All it took
was the right focus. And, the lesson I learned
was that "what you focus on gets bigger" is
very neutral. It doesn’t care whether you’re
focusing on something negative or positive.
Whatever it is, that’s exactly what you’ll
get.
As you can see, thoughts can be very sneaky.
Just when you think you’re thinking positive
thoughts, you find they’re actually negative. Success…from
the inside out means giving
yourself empowering messages regularly so
you can stay on track. Keeping these messages written down and in
front of you is best. Sticky
notes on a computer or refrigerator work great.
And your message for this week is? You got it. "What you focus
on gets bigger."
39
THREE SOURCES
OF SUPPORT
FOR
SUCCESS-MINDED
PEOPLE
SUCCESS-MINDED PEOPLE
KNOW that their success is a team
effort. It takes much more than just individual effort to create
or achieve something great. Sure you can be successful on your
own; yet when you bring others into the picture, a synergy begins
to build, and you end up with something greater than if you had
done it all on your own.
You may be thinking that
the members of the team I’m referring to
includes you and the people you work or live with. However, they
are just a small part of the whole. I’m
suggesting you bring in the added
dimension of sources greater than yourself who will lift you up
to heights you couldn’t possibly reach
without them. This high-level support
comes from three places:
1. Your Inner Self
This is the higher part
of you, the wisdom part, and is
the seat of your intuition. It’s your
inner compass always guiding you to what’s
best for you. This is your still small voice
within. Many people don’t consider their
inner self as an integral part of their success
and consequently only look to the outer
self they show to the world. Embrace the
support of your inner self. Listen to and follow
what it has to say, as it holds all the answers
and knows what’s right for you.
2. The Angels Next Door
Your angels next door
are those people who impact you
in significant and profound ways.
And, they usually aren’t
your family or friends. That’s
not to say your family, friends, and
colleagues don’t influence you positively.
What I’m talking about
are the angels outside that
circle. They can be a mentor, coach, minister, or
teacher. These are the people who encourage
you to take the road less traveled, who
embolden you to stretch to reach your full
potential. When the angels next door appear
on your doorstep, allow them to help you as their support and
influence can change the course of your
life.
3. A Higher Power
There is a Higher Power
who has a much bigger plan for you than you can
ever begin to imagine. Instead of trying to control things, turn
them over to your Higher Power through
prayer and meditation. Ask for
guidance and assistance. You may receive what you asked for, or
you may receive something even greater
that looks completely different.
Whenever you surrender
to your Higher Power, you can be sure that
you will be supported in ways that are only for your highest good.
Decide today to give up
the "I can do it on my own" thinking and do
what other people who live success…from the inside out do: let
your success be a team effort. Join
forces with your higher self, the angels
next door, and your Higher Power and watch your success soar to
realms you couldn’t reach on your own. Allow the synergy of this
high-powered, high-level support team to
become a regular part of your
life. When you do, you’ll wonder how you ever got along without
them.
50
TEN EMPOWERING
MESSAGES TO TELL
YOURSELF DAILY
WHAT YOU LISTEN TO AND
WHAT YOU SAY to yourself can make
all the difference between having a great day and
a not so great day.
If you listen to the
news while getting ready for work and then again
while driving into the office, you’ve already received many
negative messages before your day
has hardly begun. Not to mention what
your colleagues, clients, or boss may greet you with once you
arrive. These negative messages can be
so insidious that you’re not even
aware of how they’re affecting you. And then of course, there’s
your own self-talk, which may not be as
supportive as it could be.
That’s why it’s so
important to have in place a personal framework of
empowering messages which can help counteract the negative energy
you’re constantly bombarded with. By reminding yourself of
these messages daily, you’ll put yourself into a state of being
that is favorable to achieving
success, joy, and fulfillment—despite outside influences.
And, you’ll have created for yourself a set of principles that
can powerfully guide you and support
you…from the inside out.
Here are ten empowering
messages for you to follow. They
may be just right for you, or you
may want to make some changes so they
are more relevant and personal.
TEN EMPOWERING MESSAGES
TO TELL YOURSELF DAILY
1. Trust your instincts
2. Do your best
3. Count your blessings
4. Less is more
5. Monitor your thoughts
6. Acknowledge others
often
7. Ask for help when you
need it
8. Rest in solutions
9. Attitude is
everything
10. Stop and smell the
roses
Once you decide what
your ten empowering messages are
going to be, put them in a place
where you can see them often (mine are framed
and sitting on my desk). Keeping them visible can mean the difference
between slipping into a funk because you just got off a challenging
call or being energized to pick up the
phone again.
Let these messages be
your ten daily reminders—your snippets of profound
advice—your empowering self-talk. Let them create for you a
supportive and positive mental environment that will shape your
attitudes and behaviors for success, and
guide the actions you choose to
take. Let your ten empowering messages…make your day. |
